Monthly Archives: August 2013

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Scars, sacrifice, & deep love /// How I deal with my post pregnancy body blues

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Photo credit: Katie Kubler

Since the beginning of my pregnancy, God has been using my precious little girl to teach me more and more about himself. Around the 30th week of my pregnancy the unthinkable happened. Yes, that’s right. My world was turned upside down. My life would never be the same. I got my first stretch mark.

This was NOT supposed to happen to me. They always say, if your mom had them you’ll have them, if not- you’re home free! Well, my mom had three children and never got even one stretch mark. So I just knew I’d sail through my pregnancy with that perfectly round, blemish-free belly. Yeah, that didn’t happen. In fact, once the first one appeared more seemed to appear everyday until I could barely remember what my stomach used to look like. All I could do was mourn the loss of my pre-pregnancy tummy until God used it to change my perspective.

I realized, first of all, that there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent these scars. I used all the oils and creams and nothing seemed to make a difference. Second of all, and more importantly, I realized that in order for Ezra’s body to be made perfect, mine had to be sacrificed. I would willingly accept every scar over and over again for her sake. This was the small glimpse I needed to see of how Jesus loves us.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4, 5 ESV)

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Even now, Ezra has absolutely no idea how deep my love is for her. I know what she needs, she doesn’t. In fact, she will even sometimes struggle to accept the good things I have to offer her. I will be trying to feed her the milk she needs to flourish and grow and she squirms and cries due to her hunger pains. If she would just stop struggling and trust me to give her what she needs, wouldn’t that be much easier? How often are we like this in our relationship with God?

Commit your way to the Lord ; trust in him, and he will act. (Psalm 37:5 ESV)

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. (Luke 12:22-31 ESV)

Welcome to the world, Ezra Honour!

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Early in the morning on Tuesday, May 28th, (37 weeks pregnant) I began having what I was sure was the beginning of labor. Mild contractions between 5-10 minutes apart lasted throughout the day and into the night. So, the next morning I  made an appointment with my doctor to be checked. We had our bags packed for the hospital- I was just sure our little man our lady would be making an appearance that day (we didn’t find out the gender beforehand). Well, what do ya know? I was dilated a whopping 0.5 cm and 0% effaced. Not. Even. Close. Nope, not even a little bit.

Two weeks go by… still nothing. As anxious as I was to meet our little nugget, I was fine with waiting for him/her to finish cookin’. My doctor was concerned about me being able to deliver vaginally because of the estimated size of our baby. They believed the baby would weigh between 9-10 lbs (Yikes!) So my doctor recommended that I have a c-section.

June 12th, 2013 at 5:00 PM, our section was scheduled. I spent the morning praying, taking deep breaths, and asking for constant reassurance from Kennie… “You’re sure, everything is going to be alright?” Having a scheduled c-section has a lot of benefits, but can be daunting counting down the minutes until it’s time.

We headed to the hospital at 2:30 PM. On the way there, I received a sweet text message from a dear friend who was praying peace over us. She reminded me that all the things I was about to go through were not in vain and that I’d be holding my sweet baby in my arms within hours. So thankful for friends who constantly speak truth into my life.

 

On the way to the hospital

On the way to the hospital

Kennie was was by my side the whole time in the operating room. The doctor told him that he could announce the sex once the baby was born. As she began to pull the baby out she exclaimed, “Wow! She’s not as big as we thought she was going to be!” Kennie’s response: “It’s a girl????” My response: “Whaat? Are you not sure??” Kennie, “I’m sure…It’s a girl!”

One of the best moments of my entire life. She was p e r f e c t. Dark brown hair, dark blue eyes, 7lbs 13 oz, and 21.5 inches of pure bliss. Ezra Honour was born at 5:29 PM and our lives will be forever sweeter.

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Some of Ezra’s newborn photos taken by my dear friend, Katie:

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our family of three

So, let me start off by saying that I am horrible at this. I have started a million blogs and have never kept up with them. I’m not promising myself to write everyday, or even once a week, but I am going to try. I want to be able to look back on this one day and remember what life was like. So, here’s to making the most of each day and to sharing it with all of you.

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This is our little family: Kennie, my husband… Me, Lizzy…& our sweet daughter Ezra Honour. We live in Nairobi, Kenya where we teach at an international private school through an organization called NICS. Last school year I taught elementary and middle school art and computers, but this year I will be staying at home with Ezra. My hope is that I will be able to use this time to serve my family as well as loving on the community around me- sharing Jesus in everything I do.

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We have been stateside this summer so we could be close to family during/after the birth of Ezra. Yesterday, Kennie went back to Nairobi to prepare for the upcoming school year. We already miss him terribly, but will be following him there in just a few weeks.

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I’m pretty much an emotional wreck… any other new moms feel this way sometimes? Who am I kidding… this is just normal Lizzy, ha. Leaving family behind in the states is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s especially hard now that Ezra is in the picture. So, you can pray for me that I would look for my satisfaction in Jesus because that’s the only place I will find it anyway.